My head is weary.  There is little desire for anything besides sleep.  My little one awoke very early to nurse and she smiles and she quietly murmurs, I give up hope of sleep, falling in love all over again.  An angel, that's what I've been sent.  In heaven, Chiya must have sung softly to the clouds and created rainbows.

Two hours she plays.  Soft sounds and intense interest and then my baby crawls within reach of my arms.  I raise her up and sleepily she nurses.  My littlest angel drifts into dreams and I lay her down.  Now I, too, can sleep.  Perhaps.

My little girl appears at the door.  Still nursing, a baby only a few minutes each day, she brings laughter into every situation.  Growing is so hard.  She doesn't want to be reminded that she is a little girl or a big girl either.  Just Chamrie, our son of joy and so very important.

My Ben comes next.  Born too early, he is our miracle child, truly a gift from heaven.  He is now almost four and so sensitive.  He comes and cuddles.  Energy arrives slowly but wakefulness is complete with the declaration of, "I'm hungry."

Lastly, Chani walks in, confident, helpful, eager for another day.  My young companion, always expecting only kindness and acceptance from those around her.  She was born with the title "Peacemaker."

Sleep, I'm so very tired.  With one in bed and three awake I leave my young ones and crawl into bed.  My Help, my Comfort, my Love, groggy and probably wondering if he'd even slept, rolls from the bed and eases out of our room.  My Neil prepares breakfast and entertains our angels.  Not just today but every day.  A father of four, completely Dad in every way, quietly teaching the workings of love.

Finally, I sleep.  I dream of another angel, the one who showed us the importance of the moment.  One who taught us about heaven's sweetest gifts.  One who created for us the ability to be parents with perspective.  I sleep and I dream of Marshall, our first born who came and left in the whisper of two months and I open my eyes to the calling of my Chiya.  Awake again and ready for her mother's sweet loving.