Dear Nursery,

I must tell you that we never wanted more then a big home on 1/3 of an acre.  And we never imagined anything that would take GARDENING!  Somehow I found myself moving into the perfect home for my family of twelve except for the six acres of dirt and small green ground cover.  The only thing I know how to grow is children so I’ll be asking you plenty of questions.  Everywhere we lived the grass turned to brown and the children found...or even created...dirt to play in.  Maybe starting out with dirt and working backwards will give me better luck.  My first question, How do I get this ground cover to spread faster?  I would like to cover as much of this fine dirt as possible.

Please, no more hints as to spreading the ground cover.  I was just told that they were weeds and will spread nicely all by themselves.  At least they hug the ground, not like the giant plants I see on the property across the road.  My next question, I found the eight fruit sticks behind the house.  They were hard to see because they are just starting out.  I can see the leaves popping out and little buds beginning to grow.  When do I spray the fruit?  How often do I water?

Forget about spraying for fruit as the flowers all fell off the trees one morning.  Did I say eight little fruit trees?  We’ve been in this house for less then a month and now there are only six.  People promise me that it was the severe surprise frost but I’m convinced it is a warning.  How do you get rid of gophers?  We have the biggest gophers I’ve ever seen.  In San Diego our cats used to catch them from time to time but next to these the San Diego gophers look like mice.

Never mind about the gopher question.  These pests are called Prairie Dogs and are endangered.  With a $10,000 fine per killed dog, I think I’ll leave it alone for a while.  Besides, those holes they make are good aeration for the soil, right?  I did take an hour class on Square Foot Gardening and I’m ready to do it!  Aren’t you proud of me?  We’ll start small, only two boxes. They look really small on my six acres.  July isn’t too late to plant corn, squash, tomatoes, green beans, beets, melons and peas is it?

The vegetables are growing nicely.  People shake their heads though.  It seems that I’ll be lucky to get a few zucchini out of the late planting.  I had four trees in the front of the property.  Three quaking Aspen and one pine tree.  Are pine trees ever brown?  Really brown?  The quaking aspens need iron, my neighbor told me.  How do I get a tree to take an iron pill?  I live in Iron County, isn’t that weird?

I think the pine tree is dead.  I tried to pull it up but I guess its roots are deeper then I thought.  I am happy with the mint you sent me.  I didn’t know there were that many different types of mint.  Licorice mint, orange mint, pineapple mint, spearmint, peppermint, lemon mint, candy mint and my favorite is the chocolate mint!  I’ve followed your instructions and chose places where they can grow without getting into something else.  Of course, the only something else we have are weeds.  Those close to the ground weeds now reach my waist.

You’ll be proud of me knowing that I haven’t killed any more fruit trees.  My garden grew beautifully even if it was late.  We got a few zucchini and green beans out of it.  The fall frost killed the rest overnight.  Wow!  That was sure quick!  I did bring a bunch of green tomatoes into the house.  I”m promised that they’ll ripen.

Thank you for the 12 poplars you sent me.  I made my husband plant them in the front.  I need more though.  Only 22 more.  Could you send them soon?  I also ordered some other trees.  I love trees!  Don’t laugh but I ordered 4 Black Walnut Trees and 100 Sugar Maple Trees and two pretty Wisterias.  I also went wild and bought tulips and other flowers to put in the box that had my tomatoes.  After all, you are supposed to rotate the crops.  Do you have any suggestions for telling husbands about big purchases?

My cats love the mint.  They've rubbed all the leaves off the plants.  Well they grow back?

Thank you for the extra poplars.  My husband has planted ½ of them already.  I’m loving this gardening thing!  Please send 10 more poplars to finish the windbreak in the front.  The 100 maples arrived.  You know, I didn’t realize how small a 12 inch tree would be.  I planted the Walnut trees but found out that they need to be 50 feet apart instead of 12. So I replanted them.  Do you think I upset them too much?  My neighbors were wrong.  They told me I should get rid of the weeds before they go to seed but I found that they pull up much easier now that they are brown and dead after the frost.

This will be my last letter until next spring.  You have been helpful.  I have to cancel my order for 10 more poplars.  It snowed yesterday and we still have 12 of the previous order left to plant!  Can they stay in the pail of water all winter?  I also need to cancel the order for the weeping willows.  I guess I’ll wait on the other trees until spring.  Oh, I forgot, I had also ordered 4 sarsparilla, um, I mean sassafras trees, please cancel that as well.  How long will the 100 tiny maples survive in my bathroom sink?  White snow will be a refreshing change to all of this dirt.  It will stay white won’t it?